Is anybody even out there?

New.FamilySearch.org

The Other Bolyn Girl: wow, what a bunch of ugliness. True or not, it was distasteful.

Becoming Jane: yeah, good to know some background of Ms. Austen.

Miss Potter: sweet story, predictable but safe. Sometimes I need to see a safe movie.

Soda called to say he is on the new.FamilySearch.org and inputting the links for our family history. It is good that he can find names to take to the temple now without having to wait for me to get myself to the family history center and print some off or make him a disc. He said he called mom to get her data to make those links. He's got the fire. Flame On! Go, brother!!!

I found a book online that was written by a long lost relative of mine. The book is about some of the history of my family and the land they owned and worked for generations. I'm excited to get it and read all about it. It is a novel, but it is based on factual accounts of events surrounding the time of the novel in that part of the country.

Some of the stories I've encountered about our ancestors and their families have been so interesting to me that I long to find more. I've even found news articles and some sketches of people and their homesteads, etc. The old maps I find show the land ownerships and the lay of the land in the old days. The accounts I have found have been of some wonderful people doing amazing things and leaving powerful legacies of kindness and philanthropy. They are stories of people who survive and even thrive despite obstacles and oppositions. It surprises me that with all of these great souls doing good in that part of the U.S., not one ever encountered the Church. My family was the first to embrace the Gospel. Makes me wonder why. That is to say, why did they live right there in the heart of the restoration territory with no connection to it at all.

What else. Oh yea. My dog keeps running off. When he did it again tonight I was resolved to letting the thing spend the night outside in the cold in an effort to demonstrate that staying close to home = warmth. But my son was beside himself with worry and even upset that I let the dog out without standing vigil over him. So, I told AJ to do what he felt prompted to do and to make sure the dog understood our displeasure once he was found. AJ bundled up and set out in the dark, whistling his distinct tone for the dog to hear at a distance. Soon they returned and the dog fled to his corner spot. As AJ tried to take the dog to another location the dog bit AJ on the arm. We think it was because AJ had ahold of one of the dog's ears and was in pain. Nevertheless, AJ's skin wasn't broken and he's okay. The dog, on the other hand, is one step away from becoming homeless. He will spend the night alone in the bathroom. The dog is clueless but this makes us feel like he is being punished.

School again tomorrow. Too much math, not enough help. I prayed for help and for a clear mind to be able to understand the material and make sense of the formulas that I have to commit to memory. The prompting came that I should get myself to the local thrift store and purchase a desk lamp (the type that clamps on and the neck can be bent to point the light). I went straight out and found exactly that! A perfect light for $5. It's even got a blue shade which is my school's color! Anyway, I came home, cleared off a small table, moved it into my room and set up a desk for myself with my new lamp on it. On the walls surrounding it I mounted my favorite photo of myself and my kidlets when they were toddlers. I also put up a frame with sayings that inspire me to keep going. Then I put up a 5x7 of the Savior and beneath this I hung the deadline pages of my class syllabi. Soon, I was back at my studies and making headway. Stunningly enough, I was able to think clearly and make some sense of the work. Faith precedes the miracle.

Time to heat the water for the hot water bottle. It's cold in here tonight. Cya.

Flick Fest

Since today was a day off from school, I got a bunch of flicks from the library to watch.

The first one I watched was Antwon Fisher. LIKED IT!!

Second, Anne Frank. LONG............but it had before and after the attic storyline that was interesting.

Third, Belles on their Toes (the sequel to Cheaper by the Dozen, the original version). Sweet flick, brought back memories of when LL was in the Cheaper play in high school.

Tomorrow:
The Other Bolyn Girl
Becoming Jane
Miss Potter

Ah, the sweet sensation of viewing a movie without any interruptions.......a rare delight. You should try it sometime.

Blew it already.

So, I get all psyched to be the TA, I get the instructions and get signed up, I make a nice email to let the students know my contact info, I hit the SEND button and then it hits me: I SENT OUT THE WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS!

Since then, I sent a correction and took care of the error. But I can't get over it.

Nice start, huh? Real bright. Looking like a moron right out of the box.

It's okay, and I know that. I just can't get over it. It keeps replaying over and over in my mind. Why is that?

It's on, baby.

"[me], I keep trying to catch you after 311, but you leave too quickly. I would like to hire you as the 212TA, if you are able to commit to being in class at noon to help out. Both Sean and Dr. Gluch recommended you. Come and see me ASAP; I will be in the office this morning from 10-12, or let me know if you want to meet at another time.
Dr. Plewe"

Yeah, that's right! Gotta get paid.

No-Doze

Don't want to go to sleep cuz that brings tomorrow quicker.

Do you ever feel that way? My kids are asleep, the house is quiet, nobody is calling or asking me for anything. Just peace. If I go to sleep, I just dream about the same stuff I tackle during my waking hours anyway. I dream about being put in charge of things, having responsibility for things, trying to keep things afloat, working hard, being neglected or overlooked.... Sleeping brings all of that on and that's not something I look forward to. Now, if I dreamed of fun times or exotic get-aways or adventures, that would be inviting. But I don't.

Last night CC came in to my room upset because she had a nightmare about meth addicts sticking her with needles... She climbed into my bed and we tried to sleep. A couple of hours later she went back to her own bed cuz she said I snored. Probably so. Today she asked me what kind of dreams I have and I told her they were about the same stuff I live during the day. She said that didn't sound fun. It's not.

Anyways, all I want to do is enjoy the peace and keep the demands and stresses of tomorrow as far away as I possibly can manage to do. I know, I'm just making things a mess because then I'm tired and weak for the next day. Yeah, but I'm willing to make the trade, I guess.

I even have taken to falling asleep with the tv on, the volume almost off, just to distract me from who-knows-what as I doze off. AJ has the same trouble that I have: we can't turn off our brains to fall asleep. He struggles with that and has to read (albeit by flashlight most of the time) into the late hours before he can zonk out. We need to install switches, don't we. Either that or record that talks of Stake High Counselors and play them back at bed time. (You know what I'm talking about!)

CC is lucky. She goes straight to sleep when her head hits the pillow. She may call out or talk in her sleep, but generally she is out until morning. I WISH! {or do I?}

Why are you still reading this? I'm so boring.....What's on BYUtv tonight?

TA - - Dah!

Yesterday I was approached by Sean, the TA for a class I took last semester. [note: that class was the one that nearly killed me, took my every waking hour to figure out the programming for it, made me wish I could drop the class...] He asked me if I wanted to be a TA for that class (but a different teacher). My answer was sure because I could use the money and I spent all my down time in the lab anyway. He told me to let that other teacher know because he was looking for a TA. I let it pass cuz to tell the truth, that prof is one that "bites" and I have this semester for another class that is on my "suck" list and I wasn't sure that I wanted to work for him.

Later in the day, Sean came across my path again and asked if I had spoken to the professor about the job yet. When I told him no he told me to catch him after the next class. I let is slide. Sean got my attention again and said I should really go for it because he (Sean) knows me and we could TA both classes together. Well, class began and that professor announced he was looking for a TA and so I raised my hand. After class, before I could get to the front to speak to the prof about the job, another guy who we will call "brownie-boy" raced up and asked for the job. Sean looked me in the eyes and pointed to the prof and whispered "get up there!". So, I walked up and the prof asked brownie-boy if he was available during the noon class hour and he said no. Prof asked me and I said yes. Prof said we both needed to send an email telling when we took that class last and what our final grade for it was and then he would decide.

I don't know. My confidence wanes. My courses are high demand stuff. Do I want to hold the hands of students who will struggle like I did and help them navigate the muck? Or do I want to concentrate on my own garbage and let them find their way like I had to?

Anyway, at least I tried. I'm pretty good at teaching stuff. I'm just not sure this is a good fit. The money would be nice, though.

As much as I love school, it has been a rough road in this particular field. Before, when I was pursuing History or even Teaching Social Sciences, the classes were demanding but do-able. This program has got me fighting for my life! I can't tell you how many times a day I ask myself if this is worth the stress. I ask myself if I should get out. I ask myself if it will do any good for my future. I ask myself what the heck did I get myself into. {No, I don't answer myself, smart guy!}

Go Go Go Jo!

Got this in the mail today. Thanks to JW and his good wife HeidiB for sending it. I thought they'd make a copy for me but they sent me the original! It's funny, but for the last couple of months I've been missing hearing the songs that I used to sing along with. It's funny when that happens and I can't explain why. Sentimental nostalgia maybe.

Way way back, many centuries ago...

They're Here!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!

COLLECTOR EDITIONS x 11

Marathon time..... Cya.

On-words and Up-words

"What does a new year hold for me?

Shall I stop and go back? You remember Lot's wife.

Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the High Priest of good things to come.

Live to see the miracles...that will transform your life."

President Jeffrey R. Holland gave this address a year ago. I heard it today on BYU TV.

Thanks, I needed that!

Whacker

You know, it really does pay to know people.

Soda called me to say he had some weed-whackers on clearance and I could get one for $9.00. That was such a screamin' hot deal!!!! I went over and got one, of course. AJ looked it over and deemed it to be "worthy". Thanks, Soda! You're awesome. No we can look forward to warmer weather knowing we can get control of the many, many, MANY weeds that choke our rose bushes out front. Yeah, that's right, roses. Your grass is MINE!

2010 and All's Well

Woops. I loaned Stone some DVDs but apparently one of them is missing the final disc. He called me today to ask what I was playing at. He said he stayed up til 1am watching Jane Eyre but the discs ended before the story did. He said his wife was asleep so he couldn't even ask her how it ends. Talk about frustrating!! Anyway, I don't have a clue who has the final disc. Sorry 'bout dat. My bad. Let's just say there's a fire, the dude goes blind, the crazy lady croaks. The dude is free and available. Jane hears of the dude's sad state of affairs and comes back to care for her love. (yawn)

M*A*S*H dvds are on their way!

Won them on an auction (EBay) using Christmas money {thanks to Ma's generous gift, which she insisted I use for something just for me}.

Remember how that show used to be on TV every single day and sometimes two and three times a day? Not any more. I only find it on once a week if I really look for it and stay up til all hours searching. That made me make the move and purchase the 11 seasons for my own. They were a good deal and I'm so stoked to get them!

My chocolate is nearly gone. My dear, sweet chocolate. Long have I loved thee. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Got my grades. Only one was a B+. The rest were A or A-. I feel like I pulled one over on someone, man. No way. I was totally expecting less. Whew! Classes begin again on Monday. So it goes.

2010 has been calm so far. No goals for any radical changes. Just want to make it to the temple more than I am now. Do-able.

"I try to stay one step ahead, you know, like a carpenter who makes stairs..." (The Office)