TA - - Dah!

Yesterday I was approached by Sean, the TA for a class I took last semester. [note: that class was the one that nearly killed me, took my every waking hour to figure out the programming for it, made me wish I could drop the class...] He asked me if I wanted to be a TA for that class (but a different teacher). My answer was sure because I could use the money and I spent all my down time in the lab anyway. He told me to let that other teacher know because he was looking for a TA. I let it pass cuz to tell the truth, that prof is one that "bites" and I have this semester for another class that is on my "suck" list and I wasn't sure that I wanted to work for him.

Later in the day, Sean came across my path again and asked if I had spoken to the professor about the job yet. When I told him no he told me to catch him after the next class. I let is slide. Sean got my attention again and said I should really go for it because he (Sean) knows me and we could TA both classes together. Well, class began and that professor announced he was looking for a TA and so I raised my hand. After class, before I could get to the front to speak to the prof about the job, another guy who we will call "brownie-boy" raced up and asked for the job. Sean looked me in the eyes and pointed to the prof and whispered "get up there!". So, I walked up and the prof asked brownie-boy if he was available during the noon class hour and he said no. Prof asked me and I said yes. Prof said we both needed to send an email telling when we took that class last and what our final grade for it was and then he would decide.

I don't know. My confidence wanes. My courses are high demand stuff. Do I want to hold the hands of students who will struggle like I did and help them navigate the muck? Or do I want to concentrate on my own garbage and let them find their way like I had to?

Anyway, at least I tried. I'm pretty good at teaching stuff. I'm just not sure this is a good fit. The money would be nice, though.

As much as I love school, it has been a rough road in this particular field. Before, when I was pursuing History or even Teaching Social Sciences, the classes were demanding but do-able. This program has got me fighting for my life! I can't tell you how many times a day I ask myself if this is worth the stress. I ask myself if I should get out. I ask myself if it will do any good for my future. I ask myself what the heck did I get myself into. {No, I don't answer myself, smart guy!}