Top Ten

General Petraeus'

TOP TEN REASONS WHY BYU GRADUATES MAKE GREAT SOLDIERS:

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10. They've already been on many missions.

9. Army chow isn't a problem for them, having been used to eating green jello with shredded carrots.

8. If they can't remember someone's rank, they just call them brother or sister.

7. They never go AWOL, they prefer to call it Less Active.

6. They seize objectives swiftly, if they are told there will be refreshments served.

5. They know how to make things happen in a desert - you just stride into a barren wasteland, plant your staff and proclaim "This is the place".

4. They have innovative ideas for how to deal with insurgents: start by assigning them Home Teachers.

3. They always have years of provisions on hand.

2. They are the world's most reliable designated drivers. (There is a special need for this...)

1. They understand how far Iraq has come over these 7 years and believe that Iraq's old spot in the Axis of Evil can easily be filled by the University of Utah.