Last night I tried on what must have been 24 combos of "office attire" to find the right look. That was a joke. I mean, I haven't worn any other clothing besides jeans during the week and a skirt on Sunday for years. Nothing worked or fit. Duh.
When I woke up and looked at my closet, black and white was all that came to mind and I got dressed in exactly that. Serious but slovenly, that's the look I was going for.....
Oddly enough, I was at ease at the interview. I mean, I was chatty with the receptionist and calmly waited for my turn to go into the conference room. My aim was to be myself and take my chances. And smile a lot. At least when the manager came for me I recognized him from my earlier career at 4th District and he seemed to recall me as well. All those years ago. Hmmmm.
The two women and the manager asked me questions, watched me answer, and we had a few laughs. It was tacky how I kept dropping names of judges and attorneys that I had been acquainted with over a decade ago. They liked me anyway and were glad I had the proper experience for their needs. They wanted to know if I can handle high pressure and stress. I almost choked trying not to laugh. Good thing I wasn't drinking or there would have been a serious spit take to mop up! They said they'd make up their minds by Friday and let me know what they decide.
I don't know. It was clear that I would fit in nicely. But these things are such a crap shoot one never can be sure what will come of them. And, of course, I'd appreciate a job with benefits but I'd also appreciate not having to leave the kids on their own after school. They'd be fine with it. I would struggle with it. They are my first priority and always have been.
My prayers about jobs have been for peace in the process and for an attitude of acceptance of whatever the outcome. My historical pattern has been to take rejection personally. However, for a few years now I have been re-writing my personality script because I don't like that feeling of not being good enough. The truth is I'm perfectly suited for any job I interview for. I'd be an asset anywhere doing anything and I shouldn't think a rejection means I wouldn't.
Either way, I have my two jobs to keep us going, as they have for years now. No benefits, true, but money of sorts coming in. However meager it is, it keeps us afloat and I thank Heaven for it several times a day.
Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before.
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